Stage 5: Boring, Boring, Boring, SPRINT! Boring, Pork Tenderloin, Boring!, wait, White Burgundy! Ooops, that’s boring too.

Classic flat stage, where there’s nothing to do but ride your trainer (37:59) and grill a pork tenderloin, some zucchini, and some king mushrooms, and then OMFG!  5 minutes of gradually building excitement! And the dogs have seized the wine!

Our dogs posing with tonight's white burgundy

They’re holding the wine hostage! Their demands: either a monkey, or dinner.

We give them dinner, and then briefly wonder what a monkey costs…[our dogs want a robotic monkey sommelier who knows about both exotic protein treats and late harvest dessert wines!]

…then we press play on the DVR…

Nice Break! J. I. Gutierez better get most aggressive! O-o-o-o-h! They caught him. Setting up for the sprint! Tyler’s in there? Is it a bluff? Wait, is that Cavendish? And are we actually rooting for him? And then he’s actually winning?

Wow. Such an un/usual day. The tour turns predictable and then unpredictable, and then finally we have a wine, not a beer. And a burgundy. But it’s a white burgundy!?! And at first it tastes like drinking white vinegar out of a rusty tin can, but then it turns actually really tasty?

Well, that’s why you try the breakaway, because now and then they succeed. Except that this 2009 Verget Macon-Villages is really tasty between the lips and the teeth, and has a pleasing unctuousness a bit further back, but  then has no finish. Or, regrettably  the finish tastes a bit like when you’re traveling in the wilderness and your water filter fails and you have to drop iodine pills in your Nalgene and then you realize that you’ve had that bottle since long before anyone talked about BPA in their plastic!

Oh, well…as Phil would say, sort of, “you’re not eating and drinking for this stage, but for all the stages to come.” So we’re building our stamina. Pork and mushrooms rocked, btw. Dogs are sleeping; robo-monkey+cork-jockey is on order; we are bored by this sport but trying to keep our enthusiasm up.

[Due to a family sadness, we may be behind for a few stages. Make your own snark and join the internet revolution!]

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